Welcome 2013!!!

I have re started the first blog post of the year multiple times. Each time I get about as far as barely a line not sure where to go from there, or I find myself having written and entire blog post but when I re read it it makes no sense or I get confused by my own ramble of words. So this one I am just going to go at with no expectations of perfection, but rather just raw, somewhat uninhibited writing.

I have spent much of the last month really reflecting on the last year. It has brought many experiences (some more than a typical person might experience in the span of a year), challenges, moments of victory, excitement  accomplishment, sense of failure, loss, and well it seems the last year has been a blend of experience from every end of the spectrum.

We started the year off with about 6 weeks of atrocious nausea from all the morning sickness of being pregnant, then proceeded to the planning and submersion of looking into and acquiring a business, being nudged every so gently and then skyrocketing right into toddler-ville which came with it's own set of challenges and learning curves. Then proceeded into a summer filled with some amazing moments from great visits from family and friends to rough patches of handling a new store, and undertaking a temporary live in guest for a month, to suddenly arriving at September wondering where all the months prior had disappeared to.

Chloe was born, Christmas was fast approaching, store life got more and more hectic, and many, many, MANY factors came into play in our own personal lives which then brought us to our final spike on the chart of deciding to sell the store and then of course completing that sale. Wow, what a year!

2012 was a year of much growth. It showed us our limitations, challenged us to know ourselves more, taught me a lot more about that famous Proverbs 31 woman, reminded me of priorities, made me realize my ambition (which although a good quality to have may not always be the best to act on at all times), and well expanded me, crushed me, and grew me in exponential ways.

I will admit I finished off the year with my arms thrown in the air grateful to be done, and excited to move onto new and better bigger things, but coming back to the basics. God, family, friends, self & health. I know that although I seemed to want to fit in everything under the sun into a year that it wasn't the right time in my life to try and get it ALL done. I also finished off the year sad. Sad I couldn't be everything to everyone. Sad I couldn't accomplish EVERYTHING I set out to accomplish perfectly and with the final outcome as planned. Sad I finally got defeated in ways I could never have imagined by my ambition, and life. There are a lot of mixed emotions. Some I know will take me months to unwrap and process.

There are a lot of feeling towards 2012. Heck, my most beautiful daughter was born during the midst of it in a labor and birth I thought was just in my dreams. My son turned the wonderful age of 2, that although it might come with it's challenges, also comes with an overflowing amount of joy. Pete and I grew together in ways that I think would take years to happen in typical couples, only because of everything we experienced in this one year alone. Our family experienced many walls, some we climbed over like no big deal, others kept growing every time we climbed a foot. But we made it. We all made it.

We got to 2013!!!

Now we just need to recover

This year is a fresh start for me. I feel like a big of a shambled mess in many ways and know it will take me months to recover from everything. I know there are many layers in me which will feel exposed and so fragile as I process through them and try to make sense of myself and the last year. I also know this next year will be the year I focus on my family, my home, creative therapy, my health & self, and of course my relationship with God. I cannot say I have come up with a list of New Years resolutions because to be quite frank I'm not sure where to start. I have a list of ideas that keeps growing, and growing.

I know I'd like to chronicle this next year, and have a way to share it with people, and a place to just open up and so I will return to my blogging, and sharing of my experiences and hopefully inspire someone this year.

One thing we are starting as a family is a "Thankful Jar". I'm hoping the idea lasts and that we might be diligent in keeping to it. How it works is every time something happens that you're thankful for you write it down on a piece of paper and place it in the jar. Next year on New Years Eve (or day really) you take them all out and read through them as a way to reflect all the great things that happened and you were thankful for. I got the idea off of Pinterest (my new re found love - almost forgot about that wonderful site).

I'm excited to see what this year brings and how things develop and how I grow and our family grows  God knows what we need this year and excited to know that He is that great that He will provide exactly what we need during every crazy stage and time of our lives.

Welcome 2013...let's do this!