Where I'm At...
So the last little while, actually for a while now, I find myself in an interesting place. I am in a place of desire, want, unmotivated-ness (is that even a word), and un-emotional status. A desire for more, a want to be somewhere other than where I am right now, an unmotivated-ness to get up and do something about it (the work of one who I don't wish to give the credit to), and un emotional in my sense of feeling passion and something.
This refers to my faith right now. I seem to be in that un wanted state where I feel like I've been placed on a tall tower out of reach and out of touch with my relationship with God, although don't get me wrong I do want to be in a different place, and I do want to feel motivated and passionate in ways I know and have experienced before, I somehow am trapped in a valley of dry sand and in desperate need of some good drinking water that really refreshes instead of feeling like I'm drinking salt water.
I have mentioned before how I get a devotional sent to me each day from Christina Women today. I find it a good reminder and more forced to be sure I spend sometime reading through a devotional especially on those days when I can easily float through struggling to find the time or energy to sit and read. It helps me also have a focus and allows me to meditate through it each day and challenge me when needed.
Today's devotional made me think a little more. It is called It's Never Too Late To Obey God. As I was reading it made me think of where I am, and if maybe I'm just not focusing on the right areas in my life, and if maybe there's something stopping me from feeling more connected and obeying Him. Now I know there are definitely areas that need work. Let's be honest we all have them.
I know I sometimes put things before my time with God, or put my own human desires before Christ's, and know my attitude definitely is not always on par with where it should be. My naturally rebellious nature sometimes can be such a stumbling block as well, and takes a lot out of me to have to deny it control although it's something I think I will always struggle with.
I remember during my own struggling period as a teen and my own rebellion my mother once telling me I had a naturally rebellious attitude and, oh how it almost tipped me over the edged, but then she told me I had to figure out how I was going to change my ways and not allow it control in my life. This she told me as we had just returned home from some errands and I had so much anger and frustration and negativity about everything. I didn't choose to really put it into practice right away, but it was just what I needed to hear to help me know and understand that although it was a natural tendency I had a choice, one that Christ could change and make into something good. For example my rebellious nature sometimes is really great when I need to stand up for and fight for something good, right, or defend someones name. It's naturally in me to fight and let me tell you I can be pretty aggressive and brutal if I need to be (I hope you'll never have to see it).
Oh I feel I have gone astray again with my focus. Back on topic. The devotional today jumped out to me for a few reasons. here is a little clip from the devotional that really jumped out.
“What are you doing here?” Maybe you’re wondering how you’ve gotten to this place in your life. You feel like you’re just barely making it through the day, and you don’t have the time or the energy to be involved in a ministry. God knows how you feel, and He understands how many responsibilities you have every day. If there’s something God wants you to do, He will help you find the time and give you the strength you need to accomplish His work. Philippians 1:6 says, “He who began a good work in you, will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
(Sorry about the font, I can't seem to get it to change to the font I want. It just won't, and it's either really micro small or huge, so huge it is.)
This made me really think about the areas of my life I put 'off', or those moments I choose to put God on the back burner because I'm tired, or have too many things going on or to do, or let's be honest just lazy. However it challenged me to think that if God "will carry it on to completion...the good work in [me]", then why am I missing the 'cues'. Why does it feel somehow that it's not happening. Am I maybe just not listening well enough, or am I choosing not to listen or just not caring as much as I should? Maybe I find it easier to just sit back and let life happen around me. Maybe if I wait long enough maybe God will just appear and give me all the benefits without all the work. Hmm...don't think so. I think honestly sometimes I just find it too easy to not have to do the work, and sit back with the idea that tomorrow I will get up and read, or maybe I'll take time out of my day to bless someone.
At the end of the devotional it finishes off with some questions to ask yourself.
In your walk with God, have you gotten off course? What is God’s plan for your life? Are you in the center of God’s will?
These questions got me really questioning my own relationship with God, and if I'm truly on course, and if I'm in the center of God's will for my life, and also how is this setting an example for Kylun. Am I just sliding by (not like that's really an option) or am I really, REALLY seeking Christ in everything, and everyday activities, experiences, and life?
Well there's a little about myself today. If you'd like to read the devotional you can find it here.
Hope this has encouraged you, or challenged you to look at your own life. Would love to hear about it.
Thanks for reading.
This refers to my faith right now. I seem to be in that un wanted state where I feel like I've been placed on a tall tower out of reach and out of touch with my relationship with God, although don't get me wrong I do want to be in a different place, and I do want to feel motivated and passionate in ways I know and have experienced before, I somehow am trapped in a valley of dry sand and in desperate need of some good drinking water that really refreshes instead of feeling like I'm drinking salt water.
I have mentioned before how I get a devotional sent to me each day from Christina Women today. I find it a good reminder and more forced to be sure I spend sometime reading through a devotional especially on those days when I can easily float through struggling to find the time or energy to sit and read. It helps me also have a focus and allows me to meditate through it each day and challenge me when needed.
Today's devotional made me think a little more. It is called It's Never Too Late To Obey God. As I was reading it made me think of where I am, and if maybe I'm just not focusing on the right areas in my life, and if maybe there's something stopping me from feeling more connected and obeying Him. Now I know there are definitely areas that need work. Let's be honest we all have them.
I know I sometimes put things before my time with God, or put my own human desires before Christ's, and know my attitude definitely is not always on par with where it should be. My naturally rebellious nature sometimes can be such a stumbling block as well, and takes a lot out of me to have to deny it control although it's something I think I will always struggle with.
I remember during my own struggling period as a teen and my own rebellion my mother once telling me I had a naturally rebellious attitude and, oh how it almost tipped me over the edged, but then she told me I had to figure out how I was going to change my ways and not allow it control in my life. This she told me as we had just returned home from some errands and I had so much anger and frustration and negativity about everything. I didn't choose to really put it into practice right away, but it was just what I needed to hear to help me know and understand that although it was a natural tendency I had a choice, one that Christ could change and make into something good. For example my rebellious nature sometimes is really great when I need to stand up for and fight for something good, right, or defend someones name. It's naturally in me to fight and let me tell you I can be pretty aggressive and brutal if I need to be (I hope you'll never have to see it).
Oh I feel I have gone astray again with my focus. Back on topic. The devotional today jumped out to me for a few reasons. here is a little clip from the devotional that really jumped out.
“What are you doing here?” Maybe you’re wondering how you’ve gotten to this place in your life. You feel like you’re just barely making it through the day, and you don’t have the time or the energy to be involved in a ministry. God knows how you feel, and He understands how many responsibilities you have every day. If there’s something God wants you to do, He will help you find the time and give you the strength you need to accomplish His work. Philippians 1:6 says, “He who began a good work in you, will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
(Sorry about the font, I can't seem to get it to change to the font I want. It just won't, and it's either really micro small or huge, so huge it is.)
This made me really think about the areas of my life I put 'off', or those moments I choose to put God on the back burner because I'm tired, or have too many things going on or to do, or let's be honest just lazy. However it challenged me to think that if God "will carry it on to completion...the good work in [me]", then why am I missing the 'cues'. Why does it feel somehow that it's not happening. Am I maybe just not listening well enough, or am I choosing not to listen or just not caring as much as I should? Maybe I find it easier to just sit back and let life happen around me. Maybe if I wait long enough maybe God will just appear and give me all the benefits without all the work. Hmm...don't think so. I think honestly sometimes I just find it too easy to not have to do the work, and sit back with the idea that tomorrow I will get up and read, or maybe I'll take time out of my day to bless someone.
At the end of the devotional it finishes off with some questions to ask yourself.
In your walk with God, have you gotten off course? What is God’s plan for your life? Are you in the center of God’s will?
These questions got me really questioning my own relationship with God, and if I'm truly on course, and if I'm in the center of God's will for my life, and also how is this setting an example for Kylun. Am I just sliding by (not like that's really an option) or am I really, REALLY seeking Christ in everything, and everyday activities, experiences, and life?
Well there's a little about myself today. If you'd like to read the devotional you can find it here.
Hope this has encouraged you, or challenged you to look at your own life. Would love to hear about it.
Thanks for reading.
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