This Past Very Special Year

My little monkey turned 1 this past Wednesday. I could not believe how fast the past year has gone, and how many things have changed, or been impacted because of this little man.

Over the weekend we were able to go down to the Vancouver coast and spend some time with family, and friends celebrating his first year. We had a birthday combined with both sides of the family, and friends. A little chaotic, as can get with 50+ people, but all in all good. It was good to see so many people come out and celebrate and so many people love on my kid. We are so blessed, and were so encouraged to see people want to be there and pretty much everyone we invited come out.

With his birthday coming and now going I have been able to reflect the wonderful year this past year has been, and all it's taught me. Here is my list of learning, blessings, and growth. I have had many reflections of things that I've learned about myself, life, and parenthood so I will probably add to this list in the next little while as I remember them all, but here's the start.


1. When I first met Kylun last year I have to admit it was surreal. I could not believe I was a mother, and had a little baby, although I had spent 9 months preparing and growing a little baby. I have to admit, like I've heard many mothers mention, I was not instantly in love with him. This is not to say I am a bad mother, just needed to get to know this little bundle of joy. Now I did love him, but the long term attachment of having a child did not instantly take over and over whelm me. I grew to love him and over the first few weeks became more and more in love with him knowing he was mine and that God had blessed me with this little boy.

Over the past year I have learned about love so much in a different depth. My love for Kylun has been transformational. For example becoming a mother suddenly put a very different spin on Christmas, and Easter. Listening to the two stories on these holidays suddenly became personal. They were deep, and although meaningful before, much more this past year. To be able to actually put yourself in Mary and Joseph's place looking for a place in Bethlehem, and the joy and yet protectiveness and every other emotion of becoming a parent they must've been going through, and then Mary as the mother of Jesus watching him be crucified penetrated in a stronger way I could've ever imagined. The pain Mary must've gone through. This past year has taught me a lot about love, and made the Gospel make so much more sense to me than ever. What a perfect plan God has.


2. Motherhood is not as hard as it looks. Okay so some people might want to jump out and strangle me right now, but what I really mean is somehow despite the crazy first few weeks, the sleepless nights, temper tantrums, disastrous homes due to terrorizers destroying your every clean corner of the house, and well every other adjustment and change known to man somehow we do it.

We're no different than students who stay up all night getting a project done (except for the fact we don't have a project at the end, it might just be lighter circles under our eyes and hopefully a rested child), or food court staff cleaning tables and clearing trays, or maids, or school teachers, or nutritionists, or nurses, referees, forecasters of future changes or maybe moods wants and needs, etcetera. Lots of other people do these professions the only difference is we do it all at once, but not making it harder but easier because instead of doing it for other peoples children all day, or other people in general we are doing it for our own. We are directly impacting our own kids lives.

At the end because of love, and a genuine concern for your children, and overwhelming and overflowing love it just doesn't seem as hard as it looks. There are struggles, and hard days, moments of definite frustrations and moments of wanting to give up or run away for a bit, but ultimately love wins making those moments seem far and few between.

No matter how little sleep we somehow do it. Even those who were never night owls somehow muster the energy and do what we've got to get done night after night. We wake up and do the same or different or drastically different things everyday to care for our kids. Now I may be the only one who feels like this, but if you agree I would love to know I'm not the only crazy one out here, or maybe I am and I'm okay with it.


3. Maybe this is where the previous learning comment came from, but I have learned how fortunate and blessed I am for my son. I have to say besides a couple bumps along the way I feel like I've had it pretty easy with Kylun. Maybe it's because God just knew what I needed, and has blessed me with it. Hopefully He'll keep blessing me with future kids in the same way (I won't object) or next child I'll be writing a blog opposite of this. Hopefully not. However, I am so thankful for the amazing journey I've had so far with Kylun. I am so privileged to be his mother, and have a child who is so laid back, content, and fairly easy.


4. I have learned the amazing transformation that having Kylun has made in our lives. Chasing careers, and other things in life suddenly did no compare to being parents. We have often conversed (Pete and I) about what we did before Kylun. Not that we didn't know or couldn't imagine life without him but more that having him brought a new appreciation for life and what we're investing into. Investing into a little life is so much greater than getting that big promotion at work, although always welcomed, or gaining that next thing.


5. Small things suddenly bring so much joy and the big things get put into perspective, and sometimes don't matter as much as we make them matter. I have been in various situations where I know I've woken up maybe on the wrong side of the bed, or my little monkey has ripped apart the TV storage for the millionth time that day, or is trying to touch something he knows he shouldn't but a little smile on his face, or smirk, or little flirtatious look and I can't help but have my whole day transformed. Or that sudden moment in the day when suddenly Kylun decides it's cuddle time and will come and give me hugs just because or if I'm really lucky a wonderfully slobbery kiss.

6. Sacrifice - sleep, time, social activities, money, self, personal wants and sometimes needs. This isn't to say it's bad, or blood sucking, or deprivating . I am honoured I get to sacrifice these things on small and sometimes bigger levels to raise and be with my son, and impact another persons life. I do not try and loose myself through these things, but see them as opportunities. When Pete and I first got pregnant and even before we always said we wouldn't let our children come in and change our lives but have our children become a part of our lives. Overall that is what we have done.

We have tried to bring Kylun not only into the world but into our world and our lives. We have tried to be flexible and raise Kylun to be flexible. The little sacrifices that have had to be made along the way when necessary are just a small adjustment to be made to have this other little person a part of our lives. I've learned those little sacrifices are really just that, little.

We have not lost ourselves, our individuality, our passions, or goals, we've just adjusted them a little and all totally worth the adjustment. Plus now we aren't taking this journey alone but have another person to share the journey of our lives with. We have kept to and done all we would've done with or without him, of course maybe adding a car seat, a stroller, a heavier bag of his necessities but all in all small sacrifices in comparison to the return and privilege being his parents and having another person along for the ride.


There's my list for now. In all, this past year has been such a great year for growth, and learning. I am again so thankful for what having Kylun has done for me, and look forward to growing more and learning through him more about life, and being challenged in amazing ways. I am thankful to have been able to be a part of his first year of life and look forward to the many others I will get to share in the future with him.

Thanks for reading along.

(pictures hopefully added soon.)